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Working on vulnerabilities and failures: Improving my practice leading an educational initiative concerned with emotional intelligence

Working on vulnerabilities and failures: Improving my practice leading an educational initiative concerned with emotional intelligence

by Bhawana Shrestha -
Number of replies: 25

Hi, EJOLTs reviewers and colleagues,

I have addressed some of the issues that had been pointed out by the blind-reviewers. I might still have missed out on some important commentary that might have added value to my paper. This is my first time sharing my narrative with the world and that makes me both nervous well as joyous. 

Looking forward to your comments and excited to be seeing my own growth while I contribute to the flourishing of humanity. 

Warm regards,

Bhawana Shrestha


In reply to Bhawana Shrestha

Re: Working on vulnerabilities and failures: Improving my practice leading an educational initiative concerned with emotional intelligence

by Bernie Sullivan -

Hi Bhawana,

I have really enjoyed reading your paper. It is a well-thought -out paper, investigating a number of concepts as you explore your own vulnerabilities and perceived failures. You have demonstrated how, through critical self-reflection, you have moved beyond these initial feelings to develop your living Educational Theory that has contributed to the flourishing of humanity.

The paper is well structured and generally your train of thought is easy to follow. There are a few things that would help to strengthen the paper and make it more accessible for your readers. i have marked these on the paper but will summarise them here for you:

1. There are a few instances where more clarification is needed - what is very obvious to you may not be easily understood by others.

2. In some places, you begin your discussion by referring to 'we/our' and then change to 'they/their'. For the sake of consistency, it would be better to use the same pronoun throughout.

3. There is a sentence that seems to me to be a quote from Polanyi, but it is not attributed to him, so it might be a good idea to check this out.

4. In a few references, instead of page numbers you have written (para). Is this because the page number is not available?

5. In the references, there are two books where the publisher and place of publication do not correspond with those on my copies of the books. It could be that they have been published by more than one company, but it would be a good idea to check it out.

I will attach the guideline form to this, Bhawana, and I will send the annotated paper separately. I look forward to the next iteration of your paper.

Kind regards,

Bernie.

In reply to Bernie Sullivan

Re: Working on vulnerabilities and failures: Improving my practice leading an educational initiative concerned with emotional intelligence

by Bernie Sullivan -
In reply to Bernie Sullivan

Re: Working on vulnerabilities and failures: Improving my practice leading an educational initiative concerned with emotional intelligence

by Bhawana Shrestha -
Hi Bernie,
Thank you very much for your feedback. The annotated feedback was super helpful.
1. I have edited the parts that were in need of clarifying, especially in terms of my living values that you had asked.
2. I have also tried to be as consistent as possible with my pronouns.
3. I have also added few references and quotes for clarity and to do so I had to cut down others. The quote that you asked me to check if should be attributed to Polanyi is no longer in the article now. However, I checked it and figured out, it was. Thanks for pointing out that.
4. Some of my quotes didn’t have page numbers in the source itself. Therefore, I had written paragraphs. Therefore, I have worked on my paraphrasing and also added few other resources that had page numbers in them.
5. I checked the references as well and as you mentioned the book has been published by more than one company.
I shall be attaching the iterated paper in the comment section.
In reply to Bernie Sullivan

Re: Working on vulnerabilities and failures: Improving my practice leading an educational initiative concerned with emotional intelligence

by Bhawana Shrestha -
Thank you very much.
In reply to Bhawana Shrestha

Re: Working on vulnerabilities and failures: Improving my practice leading an educational initiative concerned with emotional intelligence

by Stephen Bigger -
Working through it now, I should post soon.
In reply to Bhawana Shrestha

Re: Working on vulnerabilities and failures: Improving my practice leading an educational initiative concerned with emotional intelligence

by Stephen Bigger -
Hi Bhawana, I have been through your paper, enjoyed it and think you offer a powerful reflection. There are some suggestions for you to think about, given in notes on your paper, attached. I have not repeated Bernie's comments but agree you should consider these too. This is the substance.
1. Your paper is on the border between action research and autoethnography Jack offers a discussion towards the end of his 2018 book Living Theory Research as a way of life. It is both ... and, not either ... or.
2. Your opening needs rephrasing. I can work out what you mean but for a wider audience, give them a smoother start.
3. I give a personal take on a point you make which you may or may not find useful.
4. Truth and reality as constructed are big topics - you may need a reading here.
5. I offer a personal take on the introvert/extrovert discuss you have here. Again you may find it helpful
6. I like your examples of validity.
So well done. The paper is long. If you are adding anything you may need to take out words elsewhere.
Notes on the paper attached, the pro forma will come later today. Stephen
In reply to Stephen Bigger

Re: Working on vulnerabilities and failures: Improving my practice leading an educational initiative concerned with emotional intelligence

by Bhawana Shrestha -
Hi Stephen,
Thank you very much for suggesting me the book to.
1. Though I haven’t directly brought many references and evidence from the book here, I found the book extremely helpful for my larger goal for my Ph.D. itself. I shall be revisiting them continuously.
2. I have worked on my introduction paragraph.
3. Your personal takes were helpful for me to see how I was unknowingly bringing a one-sided point. Thus, I have widened the horizon and brought new references, especially on the idea of introversion.
4. I have tried to make the idea of ‘truth’ specific for me.
I shall be attaching the iterated paper in the comment section.
In reply to Bhawana Shrestha

Re: Working on vulnerabilities and failures: Improving my practice leading an educational initiative concerned with emotional intelligence

by Parbati Dhungana -
Dear Bhawana,
I am 'living joy'!  I will share my comments soon.
Best wishes!
In reply to Parbati Dhungana

Re: Working on vulnerabilities and failures: Improving my practice leading an educational initiative concerned with emotional intelligence

by Parbati Dhungana -

Dear Bhawana,

I loved the way you expressed your emotions in this paper. This way I feel more connected with you.

I have made some comments in the paper. Please find the attachment. Here are some of my observations:

1. Some of the words need to be clearly defined.

2. Connection of your thinking with others might make it of high academic and scholarly quality

3. More evidence and references would make your paper much much better

4. In some of the places you have left without discussing the quotations. I think at least a sentence summing up the quote would be better.

5. Revisiting with a fresh look might improve the conclusion section. 


I wish you all the best! 

In reply to Parbati Dhungana

Re: Working on vulnerabilities and failures: Improving my practice leading an educational initiative concerned with emotional intelligence

by Bhawana Shrestha -
Hi Parbati Ma’am,
Thank you very much for your annotated comments. They were extremely helpful for me to edit my perspective from the reader’s point of view.
1. I have worked on the definition of some major words.
2. I have brought new evidence to support my thought process and connect them with scholarly works.
3. I realized that I have a habit of talking about the issue first and then end that with a quote and your comment helped me see that. So I have tried to write it in such a way that I bring the quote and then connect my thoughts or summarize it so that the use of the quote and reference is justified.
In reply to Bhawana Shrestha

Re: Working on vulnerabilities and failures: Improving my practice leading an educational initiative concerned with emotional intelligence

by Parbati Dhungana -
Dear Bhawana,
I am happy that you tried to address almost all the comments that I provided. I loved your rigorous effort to respond to each minor-like comments. Yet I noticed few things to address. They are similar to what Bernie Sullivan sugggested. Further, I suggest two things that may support you:
1. Before uploading the revised version, please print and read, not as an author but as a reader.
2. Clarity on the significance of the study will contribute further to develop and thereby continue the discussion on the living educational theory, living educational methodology and/or self-study...
After this, you are done from my side!
As I do not have any specific comments on your revised paper and reviewer guidelines, therefore, I have not shared them herewith.
Congratulations in advance!
Parbati Dhungana
In reply to Parbati Dhungana

Re: Working on vulnerabilities and failures: Improving my practice leading an educational initiative concerned with emotional intelligence

by Bhawana Shrestha -
Thank you very much, Parbati Ma'am. Borrowing your word 'living joy' at the moment as I am going through your comment. I have tried my best to empathize from the reader's point of view.
In reply to Bhawana Shrestha

Re: Working on vulnerabilities and failures: Improving my practice leading an educational initiative concerned with emotional intelligence

by Bhawana Shrestha -
In reply to Bhawana Shrestha

Re: Working on vulnerabilities and failures: Improving my practice leading an educational initiative concerned with emotional intelligence

by Bernie Sullivan -

Hi Bhawana,

I have read the latest iteration of your paper. The first time I read it, it really struck a chord with me, and again this time round I found your introspection and self-reflection truly remarkable. The manner in which you were able to transform your experience of failures and vulnerabilities into a mechanism for achieving the flourishing of humanity is inspiring.

You have addressed most of the issues I raised about the first iteration. Well done on getting the word count below 12,000! There are a couple of instances where sentences need clarifying, which I have indicated on the paper. There are also a couple of overly long sentences, which are quite dense and therefore not very coherent. They could easily be split into two or three sentences, making the ideas more intelligible.

It would be good to return to your research question in the conclusion, and indicate briefly whether you are satisfied that you have answered it.

I will attach your paper here and then send the guidance form.

Kind regards,

Bernie.

In reply to Bernie Sullivan

Re: Working on vulnerabilities and failures: Improving my practice leading an educational initiative concerned with emotional intelligence

by Bhawana Shrestha -
Thank you, Bernie. The minute details that you had gone through and helped me with supported a lot not just for this paper but also for my reflective process overall. I am attaching the new iteration below.
In reply to Bhawana Shrestha

Re: Working on vulnerabilities and failures: Improving my practice leading an educational initiative concerned with emotional intelligence

by Stephen Bigger -
Hi Bhawana, Have read your drafts with interest and pleasure. You have been open and forthright and your discussion will help others feeling vulnerable. I liked your LISTEN model and hope others pick that up. Good underpinning by literature too. I am attaching your draft with some suggestions for more clarity at the beginning but these are not matters of great substance. Well done.
In reply to Stephen Bigger

Re: Working on vulnerabilities and failures: Improving my practice leading an educational initiative concerned with emotional intelligence

by Bhawana Shrestha -
Thank you very much for helping me come this far, Stephen. I have addressed the other comments except for the word 'people'. I felt the need to use the 'human' for the consistency of the paper. However, I removed the word 'man' for further clarity. The revised paper is attached below.
In reply to Bhawana Shrestha

Re: Working on vulnerabilities and failures: Improving my practice leading an educational initiative concerned with emotional intelligence

by Stephen Bigger -
Hi Bhawana, Have read your drafts with interest and pleasure. You have been open and forthright and your discussion will help others feeling vulnerable. I liked your LISTEN model and hope others pick that up. Good underpinning by literature too. I am attaching your draft with some suggestions for more clarity at the beginning but these are not matters of great substance. Well done.
In reply to Bhawana Shrestha

Re: Working on vulnerabilities and failures: Improving my practice leading an educational initiative concerned with emotional intelligence

by Bhawana Shrestha -
In reply to Bhawana Shrestha

Re: Working on vulnerabilities and failures: Improving my practice leading an educational initiative concerned with emotional intelligence

by Bernie Sullivan -

Hi Bhawana,

I have read the latest iteration of your paper and thoroughly enjoyed it - again! Each time I read it I find that it really strikes a chord with me. It demonstrates such introspection and self-awareness and this adds to the sense of authenticity. I also loved the LISTEN model that you developed for your organisation. The personal and professional learning that you gained from exploring your own vulnerabilities is truly amazing and an inspiration to all.

I have no hesitation in recommending your paper for publication, Bhawana, and congratulations on getting it to this stage.

There are a couple of minor grammatical matters that I have marked on the attached paper. It would be good if you could attend to them before submitting your final iteration.

In reply to Bernie Sullivan

Re: Working on vulnerabilities and failures: Improving my practice leading an educational initiative concerned with emotional intelligence

by Bernie Sullivan -
In reply to Bernie Sullivan

Re: Working on vulnerabilities and failures: Improving my practice leading an educational initiative concerned with emotional intelligence

by Bhawana Shrestha -
Thank you very much, Bernie. The comments and feedbacks have helped me reach this far. Here's a copy of my final submission after the edits. I can't express how joyful I am at the moment.