Open reviewing process
Learning who I am: The exploration of my guiding values through a Living Theory methodology
Hello Moira, Stephen, and Bernie -
Thank you again for your thoughtful (and timely!) reviews of my manuscript, I truly appreciate your feedback and have had a wonderful week thinking and writing. I am attaching the latest revision of my piece and hope that the responses below highlight where I have expanded my writing as well as where I may still have questions. You'll see some of the following in this revision:
- Expanded abstract to capture the process I engaged in, I was unsure about including theory and in-text citations in the abstract as well. I certainly can and think it may provide some additional context, but would like to know your thoughts about this.
- Reorganized and expanded introduction - Thank you Moira for the advice and rearranging paragraphs, great suggestion! I have added more context here as well to provide the reader with more information about who I am as well as what led to this point.
- Significantly expanded theory section - Thank you all for your thoughts on this section, it was important for me to go back to the original writing and really think about those connections after spending so much time outlining my own living-educational-theory.
- Through my writing, I felt a deeper connection to the ideas of caring, connection (outlining what I mean by authentic), and dialogue. I felt the power issues come up when I discussed my own position within academia so I tried to highlight them more in that area using Rochelle Brock's work as opposed to within the teacher-student paradigm. I felt that was more true to who I was and I hope that it reads that way.
- I did not choose to extensively discuss the role of technology and I hope by expanding the introductory contextual pieces that describe my background in the field it helps the reader to understand that this is, and has been, an integral part of my practice. I provided additional references as well for my work in this area.
- I have added some overview sentences about my validation process to give the reader a sense of what I did and why.
Thank you all for the great suggestions about additional readings, I enjoyed reading some new pieces! I look forward to your feedback.
Dear Michelle. It's a real delight to read your second submission. I like the way you have expanded the Abstract and reorganised the contextualisation. For me it makes the whole paper more accessible. I see you have not added 'Power' to the keywords after the Abtract, but that is no longer a problem for me, as I find the whole paper more coherent now.
I think you are very nearly there now, Michelle, as far as I am concerned. There are, however, a few places that you need to attend to in terms of the presentation in places, but nothing major at all. I have signaled where these are in the attached.
A lovely piece of writing, Michelle. Very close now!
With warmest regards,
Having read the second iteration of your paper, I am impressed by the changes you have made. It reads like a scholarly piece of writing now, and you have managed to make changes without losing the lovely narrative framework for describing your personal experience.
I can now contextualise your research and have a sense of how you and your students collaborate and connect with one another in your action research project. You have incorporated more theoretical themes into your paper and this is reflected in the expanded references.
There are just a few minor editing bits that I have marked on the attached paper, Michelle, and then I would be happy to recommend publication.
Thank you so much Moira! I also felt that after the rewrite there were others keywords to add that captured some themes better than power, I am glad you see that as well. I will work on some of those edits and post a revision shortly, thank you again!
Hi Moira, I am attaching the latest revision, thank you so much for your support on this journey!
Dear Michelle. Thank you for attending to the points I raised in my last posting. I really love your paper and feel it is a significant contribution to Living Theory, as well as a very compelling account of your own educational development and that of the people you are working with.
I recommend this paper for publication in EJOLTS.
Warm regards, Moira
I have read your update with enjoyment. It is clear that you and your students have benefited from your period of reflection. As you say, you are in early stages of a lifetime study. Your emphasis on acting on values will help you here.I queried in my last comments your use of the word authentic but you haven’t rethought in any depth . I know everyone uses the word but it is so woolly. A certain narcissist not far from you thinks he is authentic; the Brexit brigade here think they are authentic. Progressives and fascists each claim to be authentic. Not many of us think we are inauthentic. To be honest I could only read your script by mentally crossing out or replacing the word authentic or authenticity – then the sentence usually made perfect sense. Details are outlined in the attached. Apart from this issue of wording, I am happy with your line of argument, and with your enthusiasm for the study
Thank you Stephen, I appreciate your feedback and did some thinking around the term authentic before this rewrite. I use the word authentic to capture my intention for connection with students and agree with some of your attached comments that the word genuine would also accomplish the same goal in places. I do feel, for me, that there is a difference between connection and authentic/genuine connection but would never want to turn a reader away from engaging with my living-educational-theory based on word choice. My goal is to capture what connection looks like when the approach is respectful and unassuming. I am able to move forward with a word like genuine in its place, but is this necessary? Thank you so much for your guidance, I truly appreciate it.
I find the word authentic means different things to different people. People do use it, as in authentic leadership but it is so woolly and there are usually better ways of expressing the point. (I do know what you mean, but we have a duty to be critically sharp. Freire used it to contrast with traditional transmissional attitudes in the 1960s. You use it to underline respectful learning relationship and my suggestion was you use labels that say what you mean. I went through every mention of authentic in your text and offered suggestions about how clear speaking would help your argument. 'Genuine' was one, 'respectful learning relationships' another. 'Deeply felt', 'compassionate', 'with empathy' to echo some of the other comments you make. I know we get wedded to words that we think express what we mean, especially when others are using them. But we have to resist intellectual laziness and think through issues critically. Another PhD grad and I went through this in critiquing (and rejecting) the term 'authentic leadership' for reasons I have highlighted here. In my attachment I make detailed suggestions which replace the term 'authentic' and my suggestion is just replace the word - but it is your paper. Hope this helps, Stephen
Thank you Stephen, this definitely helps and I appreciate the effort you have gone through to suggest word choice changes. I will go back through my paper and examine each one for changes or clarity. Will post a new version in the next day or so. Again, I appreciate the time you have taken with my work.
Have read it through again and am very pleased with the end results. By not using a formulaic term, you have been able to add nuance to your writing. One little thing, on page 16 after personal communication, the word authenticity could be replaced with 'my deeply held values'. Well done. Stephen
Stephen, I am attaching the latest revision. Thank you for your support through this process, initially I had a difficult time giving up the word "authentic" but I appreciate your mentoring and I agree it reads perfectly fine without it. Thank you again!
I think your paper reads really well now. I enjoyed it the first time I read it and was impressed with the connections and relationships you had forged with your students. The changes you have made since have ensured that it is a really good description and explanation of your living research. I have no hesitation in recommending it for publication.
Thank you so much Bernie, it was a pleasure to work with you!