Hi, Moira. This article is a true pleasure to read. I find it inspirational, influential and exciting! This article is ready for publication in my opinion.
The following are just some ideas to consider. None of them
is essential to the value of the paper but may contribute to strengthening it.
I inserted page numbers on the article which started around 50 (not sure why) and thus, I am attaching
the paper with this numbering. My comments are in italics.
p. 53 In addition, the writing of this article is helping me to
understand the ways in which my own and others’ creativity and hope have become
living educational standards of judgement for me in my current practice at the
Open University. Not clear how others' creativity become standards of judgement for you??
58 Peter, grieving for
his dead father and wondering how to be a man when he was only eleven, asked
whether he could be in charge of the lifeboats. I found that unutterably
touching and had to push back the tears. Alison [acting as the captain of the
ship] said yes, that was an excellent idea. Alison is a very special girl: she
has empathy in spades, which is unusual in someone who also loves to be in
charge. Her first decision of responsibility seemed a fair one and I smiled at
her. Should these quotes from your
writing have page numbers?
remarked on my fussiness with the use of
written language. We do share this ‘fussiness’!
On 5.9.18. Alison and I had a conversation about how she was going to
present some of her findings, which would mean having to cut some aspects back
in order to accord with the stringent word-count. In my experience this can be
a difficult time for a student, who can be emotionally as well as
intellectually invested in their work. Writing a dissertation is often a
creative process (Kahl, 2012; Yoo, 2017) which, to my understanding, is a
process that involves not only the intellect, but the emotional and even the
spiritual dimensions of a person. This was my personal experience of writing up
my M.Ed. dissertation (Laidlaw, 1988) and my Ph.D. thesis (1996). This resonated with me: in 2001-2, I had to
remove 20,000 words from my doctoral thesis as I was over the 100,000 word
p. 70 Video 2. Giulia
and Moira 2.7.18. Would a script of
part of this video strengthen your argument? There's a line in there about
discipline that might be appropriate and another about where "we“ is
permissible – I liked that explanation!
C. Carozzi and M. Laidlaw, personal communication, August
5, 2018.) (C. Carozzi, personal communication, August 19, 2018)
And on p. 70 C.
Carozzi, personal communication, August 19, 2018)
Should these be G. Carozzi?
p. 71 Video 3. Giulia and Moira: 6.9.18.
Would some the part on ‘power
with’ near the end be important to pull out of the script?
You are a powerful writer and thinker and it has been my pleasure to respond to your article.