relections on the development of a Black African Male Educator anf Gifts of Thesis writing
kindly receive paper as requested.
I hope to hear from the reviewers soon.
Hello Jerome. I am delighted to be acting as one of your reviewers again, and I want to say how much I have enjoyed your new article. I find such joy and hope in it, qualities so significant for education, in my opinion. Your paper brings the reader into a place of change and reflection and diligence and hope and vision. I felt as if I were experiencing something of your own journey as you took the reader through the various stages of your educational development and its impact on other people you were working with. I love the inclusion of your own poetic writings, as these - to my mind - lend the paper a kind of truth that it is easy to leave behind in academic articles.
I have a significant criticism and a more minor one.
Throughout the paper you make claims which you don't often offer evidence for. You say you felt, or understood differently, and this impacted on the work you did subsequently. But I don't often see evidence for that, perhaps in examples or even anecdotes. Your paper is full of claims, but, if I may say so, doesn't always do them justice, or breathe life into them with examples where you lived your new truths.
I wonder if, for the sake of keeping to upper word limits for EJOLTS papers, you might claim less and offer the reader more in terms of substance. I don't want to kill off the life of your paper - because it is sometimes to be found in the poetic power of the writing that some of the life of it resides. However, as an academic paper for EJOLTS, I believe the lack of evidence to be a weakness.
The minor criticism is that your paper is not yet presented in the correct format for publication in EJOLTS and this will also need to taken care of if I am to recommend it for publication.
Jerome, I think this is a really important paper and it needs to be published. The poetry of it demands publication.
I have written quite a lot on the paper itself - which I attach here.
I hope that my comments are encouraging and not demotivating in any way. If they are, then I have pitched my response unwisely. I believe in this paper. I believe in its power to communicate even more strongly, if some of the amendments are made.
Warmest regards, Moira
Thanks for the comments on my paper.I enjoyed responding to the comments.
I have marked responses to the comments in red for easy identificaion.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Hi Jerome. I don't know where the comments are. Did you upload a new version with the red comments on it?
Sorry if I'm just being slow here! :)
All the best, Moira
I have all the changes in red. I also did the same with copy that I sent to Neil Boland which has both responses that is yours and his in red.
Forgive me if that is confusing.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Dear Jerome - great to see that you have submitted your second paper to EJOLTS. What I think your paper needs is a very careful read through to distinguish all the claims that you are making and then additions to make sure that you have produced evidence to justify your claims (or assertions). When you have made these additions I'll respond to the draft that you then post.
I hope that I am being clear about what I am requesting. If I am not being clear, do please let me know and I'll have another go.
I have responded to Neil's comments as requested.
I left all responses in red for easy identification.
Thanks for the guidance provided.
Hi, Jerome. I hope you are well. I am sorry but I have looked and looked at the different iterations of your paper and I can find no specific comments in response to my previous annotations to your text (on 6th February, 2018). I would need to see a revised paper that shows that you are responding to the comments I wrote before about your important paper.
If what I am saying here is not clear, do get back to me, please. I think this paper really matters and I want to see it published.
Warm regards, Moira
Kindly receive my 3rd iteration with both your comments and those of Neil in red. I hope this will help.
I have resoonded to your commments and those of Neil.
I then left the responses in red but removed the comments after responding to comments.
My iteration with responses in red is that of 7March 2018.
Sorry for the confusion caused by my removal of comments.
All changes are in red.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Hi Jerome - I have enjoyed reading your latest draft. I'm more than willing to give your paper a final proof read for minor typographically errors.
The one point I'd like you to give more attention to and to extend is on page 14 where you write:
· How Can I Evaluate the Educational Influence of My Actions? to this i re-join that people say that I am approachable and give help or advice when asked As I sought admission for learners who could not find a school parents and learners that would come worried about not having been admitted in any school would get admission and leave the office happy.
This is such an important point about evaluating the educational influence of your actions that I'm hoping that you will give more details, as evidence, to show how you have evaluated the educational influences of your actions. On detailed example should suffice.
I hope I have done what you have requested. I will be more than willing to improve on what I have done if that is necessary.
I have left all changes requested by Neil and Moira in red. I then added what you requested in blue for easy identification.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Kindly receive my 4th iteration.
I have responded in red to all comments by you and Neil. I then removed the comments.
I then added my response to Jack's request/comment in blue.
I hope that is not confusing.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Hello, Jerome. Reading through your latest iteration has been a thorough pleasure for me. It reminds me why I'm in education, what education is about, and how Living Theory can bring love and hope for the flourishing of humanity into the forefront of enquiries.
I can see how you have amended aspects of the paper so that it includes evidence for claims made - although there are still one or two places in the text where this isn't yet the case (see comments in the margins). I believe that this paper is now the stronger for the claims-based analysis that you've undertaken in outlining your educational and ontological values. It reads very fluently indeed and shows a genuine concern to communicate with your readers. I sensed I was actually partaking of your journey because of the vividness of your text. That's something else I've aways loved about Living Theory, that although each living-theory is unique, a strong writer will have the power to include the reader as someone with whom s/he wants to communicate, and offer them the chance to accompany them on their journey. You have really communicated strongly to me, Jerome. Thank you.
The way you communicate is genuinely inclusive (in my opinion). To reach the other cogently through the potential distortions of geography, history, culture, race, politics, gender, society, religions and so on and so on, speaks volumes to me about authenticity and the trustworthiness of a text. I felt addressed and that really matters to me as a reader. Such communication itself gives m greater hope for the flourishing of humanity.
I have made some comments on the attached document, which are mostly to do with presentational issues. Have a look at the Submission Guidelines for how to present your References at the end and in the text, for example. You also need to look at spacing issues and layouts of paragraphs (indentation). These and the other issues raised in the document attached, need to be attended to before I can give your paper an unequivocal recommendation for publication. They are minor, however. The editorial team takes on the challenge of formatting (like the logo and so on) so you don't need to worry about that.
I realise these details are tedious and I certainly don't want my mentioning of them to detract from what I see as a fascinating, and very important account of your own growth as an educator and human being.
If the small numbers of details alluded to above can be attended to, then I will recommend this paper for publication without hesitation.
Kindly receive my response to your comments. Thanks for your comments they helped me a lot as they showed me aspects that I need to improve in my writing. I hope I have done what you requested me to do. I really appreciated your encouraging words.
I am beginning to really love what I am doing.
Hi, Jerome. We're getting there!! Just a little bit more to do. In the document attached to this message, I have integrated the red type into the black on the places that are resolved. It's nearly everything, by the way. The remaining comments in the margin indicate where things still need to be completed - not much at all. When you post the document again, could you post it as a clean copy with all the amendments done, rather than still in a draft form? I will then be able to give a quick once-over and be able quickly to recommend it for publication. You have covered ALL the important points. Just a few details left.
Thank you for your hard work, Jerome.
All the best, Moira
I hope this will find you well. Kindly receive my response to your comments.
I hope that I have responded to them as requested. My toughest challenges were:
- Finding the font size in the submission guidelines. I did not see any specifications but I have all the headings in arial 12.
- I am still not sure about my spacing but have done single spacing as I searched for that in submission guidelines.
- it is sometimes surprising that something can be right in front of you but miss to see the wrong such as the indenting my reference or seeing that there is a comma or a full stop missing
- There were times that I wanted to kick myself for my stupidity.
Your comments kept me sweating during the work session. As I have said I am enjoying the challenge.
Hi Jerome! THANK YOU for your hard work on the formal details for the paper. There are inevitably a few minor spacing issues outstanding, but they can be rectified during the process of getting the paper into its final formating ready for publication.
This paper is a real contribution to Living Theory and I am delighted to recommend it wholeheartedly for publication.
It has been a real pleasure working on this paper with you, Jerome.
Warmest regards, Moira
Thanks a million for your guidance and that of other reviewers. I think my next paper will be better due to your guidance. I recently saw the submission template with the specification all along I have been reading submission guidelines.
Thanks once more.
Thank you for posting your article to EJOLTS. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading it and beginning to get to know something of your journey.
I have marked up the copy below - I hope my comments are understandable and helpful to you. They form themselves around two main points, both of which I am sure you are able to clarify.
You make a number of statements about the end point of your doctoral journey, which I have no doubt is an accurate expression of how things are. As this is an academic journal , you will need to back these up and verify them so the reader is able to experience as well the path your journey took.
The second point I have is that the journey is often more important and telling than the arrival point. I read with real interest about the destination you have reached now you've finished your doctorate. I find myself wanting to know more about how you got to this place, the challenges and difficulties, successes and contradictions, formative moments on the way and so on. That would, for me, make it an even richer account of this process.
There are some repetitions you may like to address and formatting/referencing issues. These are minor (though also important).
Thank you again for this opportunity to read your work; I know that I will continue to think about what you have written as I go through the day. There is a power to your story which needs telling. I look forward to the next iteration.
With best wishes,
Kindly receive my response to your comments. Thanks for your comments they were challenging and they helped me to learn a lot. I have done the following as my response to the comments:
I used your comments and those of Moira to respond in some instances cut and pasted where comments were similar.
Left all responses and changes in red.
I tried the reference section but I still feel I need to acquaint myself with it.
I hope to hear from you soon
I have responded to Neil's comments as requested by Jack and posted the iteration.
I left all the responses in red for easy identification of the changes.
I hope to hear from you soon.
Kindly receive my 4th iteration with the following:
My responses to Moira and Neil's requests/comments in red for identification of responses..
After responding to the comments I removed the comments and left responses in red.
I then added my response to Jack's request in blue for identification of the addition.
I will desist from removing the comments as the practice is confusing.
Kindly send my apologies to Moira who found the removal of comments strange. I have also sent her this iteration.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Thanks for your guidance. Moira posted a very encouraging message about my second paper. May you also convey my thanks to Jack and Neil for their guidance.
Wishing you the best in your work.
Thank you for posting this iteration and for working through the comments. I find that it reads much better and that the reader can follow your journey through without difficulty. In this way, I would now recommend it for publication.
What you will need to attend to still are the formatting and citations/referencing to bring the whole thing up to publication standard.
Many thanks for letting me review this and all the best with your work,
Dear Jerome – I’ve enjoyed your latest iteration very much and I’m recommending it for publication. I know that Neil and Moira are right about giving your paper a careful proof read, and I know that several of us on the editorial board are more than willing to do this when the paper is accepted for publication. We’ll be able to pick up some repetition and small points such as -
that have not been explicitly declared as useful and included formally in education rather than in (Gumede 2011).
These minor points will be important to amend before publications so that they do not detract from the high quality of your important ideas. For example, I’m hoping that we could work together after publications on your idea that learning should be viewed as a way of life:
As human being we are forced by nature to learn. Learning should be viewed as a way of life as life presents us with a myriad of information and we unknowingly find ourselves learning. It is pity that whenever we think of learning we equate it to the school and the learning that takes place with the subject matter.
My latest book is with the publishers and is called ‘Living Theory research as a way of life’
I also identify with your hopes on pages 23-24:
I hope I will influence education through my work as governance and management coordinator in uGu district because I meet with learners, educators as well as parents in my work. I also meet with different stakeholders in my work and hope to influence them and they will in turn directly or indirectly influence other people. I hope to be more involved in curriculum matters so as to apply my knowledge in it.
I hope that I will have the opportunity to share my knowledge of learning and teaching with student teachers and teacher educators. I hope to motivate learners and educators to be life-long learners. I hope that I will see more people furthering their studies up to PhD level and be involved in research including self-study. I further hope that I will influence learners and educators in realising the value of education as a poverty alleviation activity, if used correctly.
I hope to be a foot-soldier in promoting self-study, narrative inquiry, Living Theory and auto-ethnography research methods. I hope others will benefit from reading my thesis. I hope it will help them in reflecting about their past and have some answers to the way they behave. I hope it will assist those that had some doubts about writing a thesis using self-study, narrative inquiry, living theory and auto-ethnography research methods. I hope that it will whet their appetites towards ways of looking at some of the things that they took for granted. I hope that my thesis might change their mindset about what it is to be an African in South Africa and the world. Some parts of the thesis might make the readers learn to be more observant and learn to appreciate their environment. The thesis might also encourage the reader to see the Hand of God in most of man’s deeds and successes.
As a Christian I now see the Beliefs, Values, and the Critical Cross Field Outcomes as nothing other than a way of helping me to enhance my faith and belief in God. The Beliefs, Values, and the Critical Cross Field Outcomes to me reveal the message that God has given through his word, as they encourage purposeful and positive work ethics.
What I’m wondering about, is working with you after publication on spreading the influence of your ideas. We could for example draw the attention of the African Association of Teacher Educators to your ideas. We could connect with the African Union Headquarters in Addis Ababa to explain the importance of extending the influence of your ideas in Africa and globally in both theistic and secular humanist contexts.
Thanks a million for your guidance from my first iteration up to now. I am more than willing to work with you as I know I will grow in many ways. I will be waiting for the opportunities you have said our work might open up.
I never thought of anything as I am a novice in academic matters. My job was on a provincial and district level. I now realize that I was working in an environment that was 'epistemosafocaristic' (my term) in that one was not allowed to air views that the supervisors felt made them uneasy -as sometimes they knew little or they were not prepared to learn from their juniors-sometimes the superiors would silence us or suffocate us as juniors if we were making suggestions that were deem to be threatening the status quo. In IsiZulu they would say: 'Thula mfana! Amazwi kayihlo lawo'' -meaning 'Keep quiet boy! you are not supposed to say what you are saying , those words need to be uttered by your father'.
Thanks once more to all your reviewers for their good work - Liz, Moira, Stephen, Neil, Moira- for helping me with my computers skills. Your e-mail even motivated my wife Mirriam who is busy with her DTech in Business Administration -after completing her MBA in 2015.
May you and your reviewers be blessed in many ways.