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relections on the development of a Black African Male Educator anf Gifts of Thesis writing

 
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Re: relections on the development of a Black African Male Educator anf Gifts of Thesis writing
by Moira Laidlaw - Monday, 5 February 2018, 11:31 AM
 

Hello Jerome. I am delighted to be acting as one of your reviewers again, and I want to say how much I have enjoyed your new article. I find such joy and hope in it, qualities so significant for education, in my opinion. Your paper brings the reader into a place of change and reflection and diligence and hope and vision. I felt as if I were experiencing something of your own journey as you took the reader through the various stages of your educational development and its impact on other people you were working with. I love the inclusion of your own poetic writings, as these - to my mind - lend the paper a kind of truth that it is easy to leave behind in academic articles.

I have a significant criticism and a more minor one.

Throughout the paper you make claims which you don't often offer evidence for. You say you felt, or understood differently, and this impacted on the work you did subsequently. But I don't often see evidence for that, perhaps in examples or even anecdotes. Your paper is full of claims, but, if I may say so, doesn't always do them justice, or breathe life into them with examples where you lived your new truths.

I wonder if, for the sake of keeping to upper word limits for EJOLTS papers, you might claim less and offer the reader more in terms of substance. I don't want to kill off the life of your paper - because it is sometimes to be found in the poetic power of the writing that some of the life of it resides. However, as an academic paper for EJOLTS, I believe the lack of evidence to be a weakness.

The minor criticism is that your paper is not yet presented in the correct format for publication in EJOLTS and this will also need to taken care of if I am to recommend it for publication.

Jerome, I think this is a really important paper and it needs to be published. The poetry of it demands publication.

I have written quite a lot on the paper itself - which I attach here.

I hope that my comments are encouraging and not demotivating in any way. If they are, then I have pitched my response unwisely. I believe in this paper. I believe in its power to communicate even more strongly, if some of the amendments are made.

Warmest regards, Moira

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Re: relections on the development of a Black African Male Educator anf Gifts of Thesis writing
by Jerome Thamsanqa Gumede - Tuesday, 27 February 2018, 5:04 PM
 

Dear Moira/Marie

Thanks for the comments on my paper.I enjoyed responding to the comments.

I have marked responses to the comments in red for easy identificaion.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Regards

Jerome

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Re: relections on the development of a Black African Male Educator anf Gifts of Thesis writing
by Moira Laidlaw - Wednesday, 28 February 2018, 11:16 AM
 

Hi Jerome. I don't know where the comments are. Did you upload a new version with the red comments on it?

Sorry if I'm just being slow here! :)

All the best, Moira

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Re: relections on the development of a Black African Male Educator anf Gifts of Thesis writing
by Jerome Thamsanqa Gumede - Thursday, 1 March 2018, 12:06 AM
 

HI Moira

I have all the changes in red. I also did the same with copy that I sent to Neil  Boland which has both responses that is yours and his in red.

Forgive me if that is confusing.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Regards

Jerome

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Re: relections on the development of a Black African Male Educator anf Gifts of Thesis writing
by Jack Whitehead - Monday, 5 March 2018, 4:21 PM
 

Dear Jerome - great to see that you have submitted your second paper to EJOLTS. What I think your paper needs is a very careful read through to distinguish all the claims that you are making and then additions to make sure that you have produced evidence to justify your claims (or assertions). When you have made these additions I'll respond to the draft that you then post.

I hope that I am being clear about what I am requesting. If I am not being clear, do please let me know and I'll have another go.

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Re: relections on the development of a Black African Male Educator anf Gifts of Thesis writing
by Jerome Thamsanqa Gumede - Tuesday, 6 March 2018, 12:46 AM
 

Dear Jack-Thanks for your guidance and the comments that Moira and Neil put for me to attend to. I understand what you are requesting.

Regards

Jerome


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Re: relections on the development of a Black African Male Educator anf Gifts of Thesis writing
by Jerome Thamsanqa Gumede - Wednesday, 7 March 2018, 3:25 AM
 

Dear Jack

I have responded to Neil's comments as requested.

I left all responses in red for easy identification.

Thanks for the guidance provided.

Regards

Jerome


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Re: relections on the development of a Black African Male Educator anf Gifts of Thesis writing
by Moira Laidlaw - Sunday, 18 March 2018, 1:43 PM
 

Hi, Jerome. I hope you are well. I am sorry but I have looked and looked at the different iterations of your paper and I can find no specific comments in response to my previous annotations to your text (on 6th February, 2018). I would need to see a revised paper that shows that you are responding to the comments I wrote before about your important paper.

If what I am saying here is not clear, do get back to me, please. I think this paper really matters and I want to see it published.

Warm regards, Moira

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Re: relections on the development of a Black African Male Educator anf Gifts of Thesis writing
by Jerome Thamsanqa Gumede - Monday, 19 March 2018, 7:55 PM
 

Dear Moira

Kindly receive my 3rd iteration with both your comments and those of  Neil in red. I hope this will help.

I have resoonded to your commments and those of Neil.

I then left the responses in red but removed the comments after responding to comments.

My iteration with responses in red is that of 7March 2018.

Sorry for the confusion caused by my removal of comments.

All changes are in red.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Jerome


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Re: relections on the development of a Black African Male Educator anf Gifts of Thesis writing
by Jack Whitehead - Sunday, 18 March 2018, 4:23 PM
 

Hi Jerome - I have enjoyed reading your latest draft. I'm more than willing to give your paper a final proof read for minor typographically errors.

The one point I'd like you to give more attention to and to extend is on page 14 where you write:

·      How Can I Evaluate the Educational Influence of My Actions? to this i re-join that people say that I am approachable and give help or advice when asked As I sought admission for learners who could not find a school parents and learners that would come worried about not having been admitted in any school would get admission and leave the office happy. 


This is such an important point about evaluating the educational influence of your actions that I'm hoping that you will give more details, as evidence, to show how you have evaluated the educational influences of your actions. On detailed example should suffice.

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4th iteration Reflections on the development of a blaack african male educator and gifts of doctoral thesis writing
by Jerome Thamsanqa Gumede - Monday, 19 March 2018, 10:22 PM
 

Hello Jack

I hope I have done what you have requested. I will be more than willing to improve on what I have done if that is necessary.

I have left all changes requested by Neil and Moira in red. I then added what you requested in blue for easy identification.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Regards Jerome

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Re: Reflections on the development of a Black African Male Educator anf Gifts of Thesis writing
by Jerome Thamsanqa Gumede - Monday, 19 March 2018, 10:29 PM
 

Dear Moira

Kindly receive my 4th iteration.

I have responded in red to all comments by you and Neil. I then removed the comments.

I then added my response to Jack's request/comment in blue.

I hope that is not confusing.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Regards

 Jerome

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Re: Reflections on the development of a Black African Male Educator anf Gifts of Thesis writing
by Moira Laidlaw - Tuesday, 20 March 2018, 12:24 PM
 

Hello, Jerome. Reading through your latest iteration has been a thorough pleasure for me. It reminds me why I'm in education, what education is about, and how Living Theory can bring love and hope for the flourishing of humanity into the forefront of enquiries. 

I can see how you have amended aspects of the paper so that it includes evidence for claims made - although there are still one or two places in the text where this isn't yet the case (see comments in the margins). I believe that this paper is now the stronger for the claims-based analysis that you've undertaken in outlining your educational and ontological values. It reads very fluently indeed and shows a genuine concern to communicate with your readers. I sensed I was actually partaking of your journey because of the vividness of your text. That's something else I've aways loved about Living Theory, that although each living-theory is unique, a strong writer will have the power to include the reader as someone with whom s/he wants to communicate, and offer them the chance to accompany them on their journey. You have really communicated strongly to me, Jerome. Thank you. 

The way you communicate is genuinely inclusive (in my opinion). To reach the other cogently through the potential distortions of geography, history, culture, race, politics, gender, society, religions and so on and so on, speaks volumes to me about authenticity and the trustworthiness of a text. I felt addressed and that really matters to me as a reader. Such communication itself gives m greater hope for the flourishing of humanity.

I have made some comments on the attached document, which are mostly to do with presentational issues. Have a look at the Submission Guidelines for how to present your References at the end and in the text, for example. You also need to look at spacing issues and layouts of paragraphs (indentation). These and the other issues raised in the document attached, need to be attended to before I can give your paper an unequivocal recommendation for publication. They are minor, however. The editorial team takes on the challenge of formatting (like the logo and so on) so you don't need to worry about that. 

I realise these details are tedious and I certainly don't want my mentioning of them to detract from what I see as a fascinating, and very important account of your own growth as an educator and human being.

If the small numbers of details alluded to above can be attended to, then I will recommend this paper for publication without hesitation.

Warmest regards,


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Re: Reflections on the development of a Black African Male Educator anf Gifts of Thesis writing
by Jerome Thamsanqa Gumede - Sunday, 25 March 2018, 8:49 PM
 

Hello Moira

Kindly receive my response to your comments. Thanks for your comments they helped me a lot as they showed me aspects that I need to improve in my writing. I hope I have done what you requested me to do. I really appreciated your encouraging words.

I am beginning to really love what I am doing.

Regards

Jerome

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Re: Reflections on the development of a Black African Male Educator anf Gifts of Thesis writing
by Moira Laidlaw - Monday, 26 March 2018, 12:54 PM
 

Hi, Jerome. We're getting there!! Just a little bit more to do. In the document attached to this message, I have integrated the red type into the black on the places that are resolved. It's nearly everything, by the way. The remaining comments in the margin indicate where things still need to be completed - not much at all. When you post the document again, could you post it as a clean copy with all the amendments done, rather than still in a draft form? I will then be able to give a quick once-over and be able quickly to recommend it for publication. You have covered ALL the important points. Just a few details left.

Thank you for your hard work, Jerome.

All the best, Moira

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Re: Reflections on the development of a Black African Male Educator anf Gifts of Thesis writing
by Jerome Thamsanqa Gumede - Tuesday, 27 March 2018, 8:35 AM
 

Hi Moira

 I hope this will find you well. Kindly receive my response to your comments.

I hope that I have responded to them as requested. My toughest challenges were:

  • Finding the font size in the submission guidelines. I did not see any specifications but I have all the headings in arial 12.
  • I am still not sure about my spacing but have done single spacing as I searched for that in submission guidelines.
  • it is sometimes surprising that something can be right in front of you but miss to see the wrong such as the indenting my reference or seeing that there is a comma or a full stop missing
  • There were times that I wanted to kick myself for my stupidity.

Your comments kept me sweating during the work session. As I have said I am enjoying the challenge.

Regards

Jerome

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Re: Reflections on the development of a Black African Male Educator anf Gifts of Thesis writing
by Moira Laidlaw - Thursday, 29 March 2018, 2:19 PM
 

Hi Jerome! THANK YOU for your hard work on the formal details for the paper. There are inevitably a few minor spacing issues outstanding, but they can be rectified during the process of getting the paper into its final formating ready for publication.

This paper is a real contribution to Living Theory and I am delighted to recommend it wholeheartedly for publication.

It has been a real pleasure working on this paper with you, Jerome.

Warmest regards, Moira

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Re: Reflections on the development of a Black African Male Educator anf Gifts of Thesis writing
by Jerome Thamsanqa Gumede - Monday, 2 April 2018, 9:42 AM
 

Hi Moira

Thanks a million for your guidance and that of other reviewers. I think my next paper will be better due to your guidance. I recently saw the  submission template with the specification all along I have been reading submission guidelines.

Thanks once more.

Regards

Jerome